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Pagan for Hire

from Far Better Pagan by Paul Mitchell

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about

Written in light of the emergence of a particular "pagan celebrant" organisation - which really was just a bunch of self serving egotists. But there you go!

lyrics

Didn’t know what I wanted to be, Christianity wasn’t right for me
Had to find a place where my face would fit, and so
Came across the word “Pagan” – thought I’d give it a go
There were plenty of people out there willing to follow me and so
I worked hard to get my voice heard
I borrowed other people’s points of view and my cloaks were quite absurd
I bought the jewellery and found others who were just like me
I borrowed their philosophy and I bred my own herd

And so it seemed that those who were like me
I could either work with, or else I would have to hate
Because they didn’t agree with me, and so they were wrong you see
And thus only in it for their own egos sake
And so, I had to let all the others know
About all the little conspiracies being planned against poor innocent me
‘Cause my thoughts are dangerous to their status quo
I’m a rebel don’t yer know – that makes me a radical you see

(Chorus)
I will be a pagan for hire
I will hatch and match and dispatch you – I will help you jump your Beltane fire
I am the product of the new pagan dawn
My words they are very wise and will give you sustenance as I go on and on and on..

I have a computer, I can talk to other pagans across the world
Hear their point of view, think “how does that apply to me”
Or
I can use the technology to broadcast my technology
To others who are just like me. Week in, week out again
And so I’ll tell you what I surely know
And I will always listen to them what agrees with me
I’ll set up an organisation to protect you from the federation’s flashing lights and brainwashing technology.
I’m your saviour. Don’t you see?

(Chorus)

I’m gonner ghet myself well known to the public
Be in the media. I’m gonna get my poster on the wall.
And the position I have assumed for myself will be upheld
In a standard of paganism for you all
And so, we stay up all night long.
Spreading lots of gossip that we surely know is wrong
Internet technology has allowed us all to be
Very big frogs in our very little pond

(Chorus 2)
I will be Rent-a-Pagan
Give us a call if your faith or your soul or just your ritual needs saving’
I don’t work for prophet, but you all know who I am
I the one turning your beliefs into a publicly acceptable sham

(Chorus)

credits

from Far Better Pagan, released January 1, 2000

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Paul Mitchell England, UK

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